Desperate for an answer, a relative asked me to tell him why - now that his parents have passed on, that our family is all but falling apart. I would like to share and elaborate on my answer to him.
Once upon a time, we had a large family. Great Grandparents, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and of course, parents and children. All are but gone now. Many have taken the staircase to Heaven, and some by accident, others by old age. And more by disease and even one, my brother Miles, by suicide. What is left is the children who have grown up, and some of them that are now with their own families and parents have become grandparents and many are over 70 years old. It happens. Life takes a toll and we all fall eventually. But the family that survives remains independently. And as you know, some deaths are harder than others.
My mother is still alive. But her health is not always the best. She wants to live in Pennsylvania, and I need to be here in Florida, for my own family. I cannot convince her to move here, and I cannot move there. She is not always going to be around, so I make sure I speak with her several times a week and see her as much as I can. My dad died a few years ago. His family is in New York, and California, and I see only my Aunt in New York for the most part now, and I also reach out to her each week, as she is like a mother to me as well. For every answer there is a counter answer. We each have our reasons to love some of the family that is left behind and we have our reasons for not being the one to reach out to family that is more of a pain in the behind. But I assure you, your family in Heaven is in tact.
I glean information off of many of my readings. Many people are supposed to be opposed to loving each other. Maybe they had a disagreement over the family jewelry, or the bounty of money that was left for the children to split up between them. Or perhaps they just forget how much they loved each other when they grew up together. But here it is, they are all back in the good graces when they pass on, and when they are in God's Light, it is all too clear, they love each other again. And as if nothing on this Earth could ever come between them.
I myself have two uncles that are still alive and yet I have a terrible time trying to forgive them here on the planet as I was sexually molested by both of them when I was a young girl and a teenager. I never spoke a word before I was out of college, and after my Grandfather had already passed on, since I felt silenced as a child, and that it was indecent, and a terrible tragic secret that they forced me to hide. I also felt that the other children were not being harmed or I would have said something. I may have been wrong about that, but a child cannot reason like an adult. And adults should know better than to take advantage of young minds and hearts - and bodies. So, I have my reasons not to talk to a couple of family members. And I wish they would be so kind as to confess. And I continue to work on the forgiveness on how they victimized me. All I can say is that Heaven does have a way of balancing the scales and I know that it God has His own justice system, too. So, perhaps that is why forgiveness comes to even the most difficult situations.
But getting back to the recent deaths on my mother's side of the family, I wish I could say more, but here goes... What happened to our family? My answer was this:
"Our family is not as close when there is no one to pull it together. When Aunt Anita and your Great Grandparents passed away, it was tougher to hold their children together. So there was some animosity between some of the remaining sisters. I think your parents did the best they could to take care of you and your grandmother. But she (his Grandmother) always needed more help than the others. She still does but with Aunt Anita gone and my mom in failing health, and Aunt Sandy going through a very difficult (and heartbreaking) divorce, there is no one to take the wheel. That is now up to the children. Those that are the strongest will take care of the weakest. It has always been that way. In my opinion."
The strength of our grandparents, or great -grandparents, is there to follow. Who will become the new patriarch or matriarch of the family tree? Who is now the glue to the rest of the remaining survivors here in the family? Think of who steps up to take the lead.
Who in your case would learn to make the traditional nut roll, or Grandma's meatloaf that everyone loved. Who is willing to hold the Christmas dinner at his or her home? And who is strong enough to invite the outcast, the ones that are not always welcome at the table? Who is that in your family?
The story of your life is still being written. You alone have the power to make it better. You can sit on the sidelines and look to your left and your right, or you can look into the mirror and say that you can do this, absolutely, you can, And how much of this is a chapter in your history to say that you were too busy to make amends with the Grandmother, or the ex-wife, or the other honorable mention that was barely there for you as you felt they should have been? Or have you forgotten that they have had lives too, have been mislead, have taken a beating, or had a personal trauma (like my own) that you may not have been aware of and yet they still survived and but are still being forgotten?
If you want to recreate the family, I suggest that you start with strengthening your own. Look above you to your grandparents that are still left here. Ask them what you can do for them and keep them in your prayers. Do those things that you would want done for you, if you were in their position, because someday it may be you in the wheelchair, and hoping to be included in the family outings and in your grandchildren's home.
Second, I would learn to forgive. So much so that it hurts to do it. Learn to laugh at the mistakes that people have made. And relive the childhood that you had with the ones that have offended you. If you see nothing that was a felony, then I would feel sorry for the person, and I would give them the best of you, not the worst of you. And I would continue to love the memory of the parents, grandparents, great-grandparents and all those that have come before you that have made your life meaningful and memorable. Learning to love the way they did is the key.
Lastly, I would tell you what I heard from Spirit, the family, friends and loved ones that I talk to privately every day. Be a good samaritan. Take the time to ask for the things that you are truly in need of and wish to give more than you recieve. Look around. Are you the one that is complaining and doing it while so many others are suffering. Just wait and see what is available to you and then try to make the steps that it takes to become that patriarch or matriarch of the family. You have the right to say no, however you have the ability to become the thing you wished for and once had in others.
Anne St. John is a Psychic Medium and Author that can be reached for private appointment readings anywhere in the world through FaceTime, Zoom and Phone at www.AnneStJohn.com