Anne St. John
Soul Design - Shifting Yourself Forward into the Authentic You
Can I tell you something personal? I was never spoke up for myself much. I was a really shy little girl. And I did whatever I was told to do (within reason). But I grew out of it because of the Soul Plan that was given to me. Here, let me explain...
Growing up, I was quiet. I did not say a lot and you had to be friends with me to get me to talk to you. It was not that I was rude, but that I was really very shy. I had some friends that I trusted. There was Dianne and Sondra, and another girl that lived around the block from me named Tiina. We all went to Elementary school together and played in the playground. I was not good at kickball, and better at art than math. I learned from them to speak up for myself, and not to be afraid to join plays, learn the French Horn, and to talk to people - even if I was a little scared of them.
By the time I was in college, I was making new friends, and learning to be on my own without the support of the family each day. But that means navigating new paths, discovering what I wanted and what to avoid. Sometimes it was who to avoid. And eventually, who to love.
I also covered up a lot of my personal feelings to protect myself. I did not force myself or my beliefs on my friends or anyone else. I really sometimes wish I had said a few things to the people that were really mean to me. But I lived without telling them off, and mostly because it was not the nice thing to do. Besides, I did not want to feed into their negativity. And I had a sorority that loved me so I was not afraid to speak up about my feelings to them or my best friend Andrea. I chose who to talk to and who to listen to. And meanwhile, I had someone in my heart the entire time. And no one was supposed to know.
It was when I started losing people that I knew understood me that I felt drawn out of my introvert bubble. I lost family, like my brother at the age of 19. I lost my secret boyfriend when we broke up. I moved away and re-established myself in Florida and lost a lot of family since I rarely was able to see them anymore. My grandparents all eventually passed away, Even my secret boyfriend that I had died too. And at the same time, I was in the middle of a huge divorce losing nearly everything I physically had. It was the terrible loss that got me to start talking. It was that and a really good domestic violence counselor. It seemed that I lost nearly everything and everyone at one point or another. So at a breaking point, I began to speak up.
I had to start talking to someone. It was too much to keep inside. Too much pain, and too much regret. I had to start telling myself that I was not broken. I began learning that what I loved as a kid, and as an adult, was a part of me. My story includes painting, country landscapes, beach days, Star Wars, bike riding, Old English Sheepdogs and surf music. It includes knowing that I always had internal conversations with someone in Spirit ...and that I trusted that person in Heaven. Eventually, as I began to write it all down and felt strong enough to trust myself, or someone in Heaven, or maybe both, internally in my thoughts again, I began to communicate with Spirit one on one.
And SNAP! That is when it happened. I was understanding and listening to Heaven all the time.. Like some superpower I was telling people who was passed on and what they had to say. And I do not think it was any accident. I feel that my guides in Heaven think that this is the perfect fit for an introverted little girl to finally grow up into and accomplish. To be able to try to tell someone that you know that it is a female that may be older, or laid to rest in her 50's - then tell them that you have to understand that they are the ones that are communicating, And I can pass on the message, It is a big leap of faith for me to do, and not just to have faith in them, but in myself that I won't fear being wrong or hated for saying whatever it is that I am told to say.
Being shy goes hand in hand with being a people pleaser. You want to make sure everyone is happy before you try to make yourself happy. That way, you won't feel left out, or have your feelings hurt. You could sit silently and watch someone dance with your secret boyfriend, or you could take the risk and tell him that it is time to be honest, and start being there for each other. Truth can be tough and people can be hurt, but wouldn't you want to be honest and overcome being left out of real happiness? Isn't it better to not be afraid of what everyone else thinks of you, or to be afraid of being turned down?
What could you do if you knew you could not fail?
Soul plans are there to help you overcome the things that you were afraid of in the past that could leave you lacking. If as a child, I was too shy to talk to anyone, and felt isolated, then logically it would be in my best interest to slowly become a risk taker by telling people the truth, even if it was hard to hear. It is about learning to dismiss the fear and overcome worrying that no one will understand. So, it takes progress.. A lot of life, progress, learning, overcoming, and lesson after lesson of what you have had happen in the past to bring you to the present day. We evolve and learn into our Authentic Self. We simply grow in Spirit and in life. And when we pass on, it is what we have learned here that we can take with us. Now, what is it about you, that you have evolved into, where are you heading and how have you become more Authentic? Look into your past, and forward to where you are heading. You will see it.
Anne St. John is a Psychic Medium and Author. She is available by appointment only and can be booked for readings at AnneStJohn.com