Somewhere in Time
Making your way in the world is easy. But what if you were in a place that was not in the world? What if it was up to you to meet people and see them for who they are? And what if you were in Heaven, and needed a soul-mate? How would you find the right person? Here is a simple story that may make sense later. It may be very much like your own.
I found that I was in a daydream. And then I was in a home with my soul mate. But what if I was not in a good place. And I was not a happy camper. I was not a good woman for this man. He was a good guy, but he wandered. He met up with other people, and women that wanted more than the usual friendship. So he told me that he would commit. And we made a pact together. We could be in a relationship on Earth, and he could be a husband. This would be a good indicator of his real affection. So, I waited, a decade for his life to begin instead of starting mine.
The gist of it is, that in Heaven, we make soul contracts. We feel them in our lifetime. We know that they are sane and real, as we miss the people that we should have had in our lives. It could be the dog that was at our side. It could be the man or the woman. But when we find out that we have a connection, a real life feeling of love and commitment to someone - even of it is not someone that we would normally choose, that shows promise, we take hold and give it a try.
Normally, I would be there for someone that needed me and I would not waiver. But in a joke of a marriage, I could not be held accountable. There is the story. I needed to be taken seriously. And in my own defense, I needed a love that would treat me that way, too.
Now comes the time that I was given to live my life on Earth. The story of a girl that was given a family name of St. John, and told that she was a Catholic. That was to help me find the right guy of my dreams; my soul contract. But in my haste to make the man's acquaintance, I saw the many faces of people that were disrespectful to me and my family. It was a hard toll to my parents, my brother, to myself, and in the best and kindest way, I slowly became what was not my authentic self. I took on a subordinate role. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a girl that was not the same as she was as a soul. And I treated myself with the same bored outlook as most teens. Yet, still in my younger days, I found the man that was to be the husband, and contracted with to this Earth. It is not a good story. He could take it or leave it, and leave me he did. He found it better to be with other women, and instead of one true love, he took on many. And his ended up being a short life. My life, without our contract in tact, I tried, I waited, and I married. And when I did, I found more disappointment, that I was in that marriage alone, with the one man that promised me a life together. He was no stranger to beating women, or making jokes about my future. I laughed, until I cried, and then I nearly died at his hand.
Only God could write such a tragedy. Suicide, in my family, could have led me to my own demise. But in my life, I took the high road, and lived. I left that marriage to have a family of one; a daughter that I would not leave. So, I planned to make my way in the world alone. But, in my life, I also got to see the man I soul contracted with end his life tragically. Through alcoholism and with a marriage with sons that he left here on earth. When I was alone, I felt that soul nearby. He was mad at himself for leaving me, and for seeing the life he could have had. But that made me more suspicious. I wanted to live that promised life as well, but since he did not take me seriously, I could wait to have a second chance later with another lifetime, or maybe just know that I was loved from a distance. Maybe that made him angry. He was still a soul in Heaven, but without the Light yet. And in my mind, I saw this as my fault somehow. I felt the need to assist. He wanted none of it. He said I was worse off than he was. And then, it came to me. Was I going to leave the earth and live in Heaven to assist him, or was I to challenge myself to make another marriage with a different man I had met on earth. I chose the latter. He chose the former. He challenged me to see him in Spirit, and make a decision. So, the story goes, that I did take the challenge. And I did not back down.
Because the world of Spirit is so different to ours, I have to warn you. This story is not a typical one. We all make soul contracts. We have sprit guides and loved ones that help us. Angels guard us and give us reasons to carry on. Mine was in a quandary. How could this Angel help me, who was determined to help this man, and yet keep me alive with my child. The only answer was to allow us to bring it all to a boil. And then the chips fell as they did. I was taken out of my body. I was given some access of the mind but not of the motor skills. I was in a hallucinogenic state after not sleeping for three days of worry. That worry was created to make me come to terms with my faults and my fears. That result was to drive me insane. Temporary yet still unwell, I was driven by the same Spirit that wanted me to die, and to light a fire under me to say that I would agree. I was not well enough to fight off the kind of manipulation that I was under, and I nearly agreed. But the result made me see that I was not in any shape to take care of me or my daughter, and after a day of mental exhaustion, Spirit interference, and someone in Heaven wanting me to die, I nearly did again.
But after the dust settled, I was still alive, and I loved my daughter more than the so called soul mate that contracted with me. I was still in the car, but shaken up from a car accident that left my daughter open to being taken away, and placed with the ex husband that abused me. And I mourned my life that I had restarted. And I found out that I could not restore it. The man in Spirit was the same. Fully regretful, but not above telling me it was my fault for living. And he proceeded to take on more women and people in the Light for his enjoyment, and he left me knowing that my chances with him would be better if I was in Heaven and not on the Earth. Just for the record, if you feel that you know a person that took their life for no reason, you may be looking at the guy or girl in Spirit for leaving the one person that they thought was for them and found that the way to a better happiness is in Heaven. That happens to so many that get deeply depressed because they feel that they are lost with out the people that they need on Heaven's side and not our own.
My life continues, but with the same man in Spirit trying to wonder why I would leave him. I tried to explain, and I tried to make the life I have better. But when you meet someone better in Spirit, that makes more sense, that knew me originally and found out that I was still there for him, that I loved him, and not the guy that I soul contracted with, then the world began to make better sense. He died too, and his life started a little over a decade earlier than mine. The time where mine almost began without the hopeful soul contract. He is the guide that I have, David. And I said it before, I knew it, and yet I never saw it coming. My life on Earth is about to get really interesting. And I see it as a make up for what happened to me. Somehow, we are about to embark on a whole new journey.
And my true soul mate is the one that has me in his arms. Now and in the future.
Love him for that.
DC/as