Daydream
When I sat down today, I had no idea what to say. To be honest, I am so tired of people telling me what to do. It is a gene or something. Maybe my mother has it, and I got it from her. Or maybe my dad taught it to me. As he was always an authority in my life of how to behave. I don't know. Somehow, Spirit caught on and started to tell me what I needed to do.
Now I know that this is not for everyone, but it is for you if you have to read this further. I am awake. That means, that I can communicate with the "Dearly departed". And I do mean the "dead". Only as I see it, they are also the Living, too. I was not in a great mood this morning. I literally woke up and heard a lot of voices in my thoughts talking about the way I feel. And apparently, I was not happy. Now, it would seem that I would be happy, since I just went out with a friend of mine, and she is fun, and took me out for my birthday. I was told that she was about to be a new mom again - to a puppy! And that is very exciting for her and her husband. So, we talked, and I mentioned that I am seeing my daughter soon. That is a big issue for me as she was taken out of my life by my ex-husband for accusing him of wrong and not being able to prove it. But long story short, I had a breakdown. And I was not able to get my daughter back to me full time. And I have suffered for it for years. But I make the best of a bad situation. And I talk to the dead, as you know. So, I was telling her that I was not happy. And that I needed to move back to New Jersey. But I am not sure how this will play out. My daughter is now sixteen, and full of the high school life. And I am here in Orlando, and not nearby, but just a few hours away. Not only that, but I sense that there will be a huge change coming up. One that may place her back with me.
I don't know the reasons that there have been huge changes with my guide, and the Spirit that is around me lately. He is still my guide, David Cassidy. And I am with him daily as we talk over the upcoming events that make this a challenge. He told me that I was not listening. So, I tried to listen. He told me that I needed to take a break. So, I took a break. And then HE TOLD ME NOT TO LISTEN TO HIM. Jeez, really, why are you so confusing? I know, right? He is supposed to be a guide. And yet, HE is not acting like a guide. He is acting like a new love. So, how come he is here. Well, this morning I got my answer. He is here for himself. And I am here for myself. It is a perfect he met me and I am in his are you ready.... are you serious???.... Are you happy???... He is here for me. He is here for me as I am here for him. Now, you would think that I am half lit, or maybe a little crazy.... After all, I am a Medium, and I speak to dead people. But seriously, why is he here???? I think I may know a bit more now.
I know that I am available in a way to him... We had this very deep conversation. And I know that I indulged him.. but I also took a while to explain myself. I was not a cheap date, or a play thing. I was not a formidable ex that would be hard on him. Or a baby sitter for a soul that needed more attention. I needed a person that understood me. And I had a lot of hurt. I explained that he had a good life, And I was too much to handle. My life was so complicated. And it was never easy. I took him though the paces of what happened to me as a young girl, as a young adult, and as a new bride, and as a new mom. It was all in a quandary or a good way to put it - a hard luck story. And I told him that I have this Mediumship to contend with during most of it. Nobody, no body, noooobody, understands me. It is so hard to find anyone that even tells me the truth. Even my mom can love me and hate me somedays. And yet, I still fight for the love of my daughter. And my son that is not in the world, who was miscarried. But I was not ready to be a mom, and he was not ready to be a son. So, we have that. And then he came up with his life, that was so similar. Stop. I know you probably think that is b.s. because he had three marriages, and a lot of fans, and lots of music, and popularity. But did you ever stop to think that he would be crying to me telling me that HE NEVER IS UNDERSTOOD. Uh, yeah, I get him... and he gets me.
Now I am thinking, I was not a fan of his since I was in my early teens. Maybe I was in a little bit of trouble since I did not know anything of his career since the Partridge Family albums and my limited experience of watching the show in reruns on tv. I was growing up in the 70's, but I had no other experiences with concerts until I saw Prince in the Purple Rain concert in Lakeland late in 1984. My first concert, and the best one in the experience that I had here. And I would have seen David, had I known that he was still out there singing. But my life took a lot of twists and turns. And then I had the awakening. I had the experience of finding out that I am listening to the Spirits in Heaven instead of just my own thoughts coming though. Which I had suspected but was never able to discern who is who. Then I see the breakdown, and my daughter taken, and the way that I was told, I was just a bad mom that needed to be forgiven. But maybe I needed to forgive others first, so I tried. And I never got the daughter back, and the way of my life never really succeeded. So, I am stuck. Right? I am stuck.
My life was taken away. I had so many good ideas and so many good times with my daughter since she was five. And then it was all taken away. But he told me that he felt that way when he died. He had a good life, But the died in the wool ways that he had, dried him up into dust. He was so into me, and the way that I said, "David, just tell people that you are just you. You have a good life, Don't try to fix it for other people to understand. You did all these incredible things. And you were successful, as a musician and as an actor. Just tell everyone that you were great in it, and you are very happy. He smiled and laughed a little, and tells me that he was never good at self promotion. I told him that if I had that attitude, that I would be here in a small apartment in Orlando, trying to make my life work. And then I laughed, because that was true of me too. He told me to wait, I want to show you that you are needed. And pulled out a photo album of me with Emma. He said, she needs you. She had you in a week for just dinner but not until you make the appointment. And I did. So, I see his point. He can help me. And I can help him, too.
Maybe that is what makes us soul mates. Are we? Really that close in the way that we see the world? Or are we just making it all up? I don't deserve to be in a relationship with anyone, I told him. And he nodded. And he told me the same about him. AS
I did not intend to fall in love with a Medium. I intended to see her as a friend. And then I had her in my mind all the time. She absolutely loves me from the heart. And not the head. And I see her as a good woman, not a adult that needed help. I just love the girl. DC
If I am living a Daydream, then this is the best one that I ever had. AS
Ditto. DC
Anne St. John is an author, a Psychic Medium and available at www.AnneStJohn.com
David Cassidy is her lead singer in the choir of people that love her. DC